Happy holidays to us all!

Ah, the holidays. Those wonderful few days when we all take a break from the sale of our bodies' productive capacity to relax, enjoying the company of those we love best. It is a time entirely free from the grotesque spectre of capitalism, in which we freely exchange sentiments of affection, express our admiration of our fellows, and praise our wise and benevolent government.

We praise them loudly, and in clear voices, so that the hidden microphones won't miss a word - not so as to disguise the scratching of pencils across paper, nor to muffle the sound of incendiary pamphlets being digested.

In retrospect, we probably shouldn't have had them leather-bound. But they just look better.

What can I say about my holiday celebrations? Only that they were very likely similar to yours; I saw people I had not seen in some time, and one whom I had never seen before at all. This person was only recently born, and as such studied the world around them with the careful gaze of a person who knows nothing; not even the limits of their own flesh. When one is still a baby, one has yet to learn the limits of the flesh; to realise that your consciousness is not part of a perfect hive-mind, attuned to your pleasure. Only later will the infant realise what we all realise: that simple existence is not sufficient, and we must toil in order to have value in the world.

But for the moment, they were still mostly void and partially stars; a two-legged, two-armed space in the universe that did not yet realise it was apart from it. It would have been a sad moment, but luckily there was enough food and laughter around the table that we could all forget that spectre of innocence lost. Thank goodness!

Pictured: the spectre of innocence lost.
She's usually shorter at our table, but I suppose we never had much innocence in the first place.

The nights are getting shorter now, following successful sacrifices of our belts and dignity over the holiday period. There will be less and less time to do the things we have to do at night, when we are hidden from prying eyes and our own guilty consciences. On the other hand, vampire attacks will once again start to fall - but don't let those extra pints go to waste!

Blood is very much like freedom: it is easy to take for granted.
It is also very easy to take by force. So if you've got it, share it!

Finally, a reminder that although we have enjoyed time away from our sacrificial circles and Excel spreadsheets, many people have not - people hard at work in the service industry, the secret police force, and of course the minimum-waged child-slaves who transcribe your words of praise for our benevolent and omniscient government. How else would it stay omniscient?

So if you can, don't forget to tip your waiter; try to avoid getting blood splatter on your local secret police officer; and make sure you don't say anything rude or sexual while near a hidden microphone.

They're only children, after all.